Jeff
Keller

Let's Make Courtesy More Common

We all know the term "common courtesy," but courtesy seems to be getting less common all the time. Now is your chance to make the world around you a better place to be. Let's Make Courtesy More Common.

Courtesy. I see less and less of this precious resource each year. It's not yet on the endangered species list, but I am concerned. I'm afraid "common courtesy" just isn't very common these days. As we become a more complex, faster-moving society, politeness and consideration for others seems to be less prevalent. And we're all guilty at times.

But let's face it. Don't you still prefer to do business with those who are polite and considerate? Here are some specific suggestions for being more courteous and building more effective business relationships:

Call when you're running late
We're all busier now. We have tighter schedules and experience unanticipated traffic and plane delays. But there's simply no excuse for not letting others know when you'll be late for an appointment. And the more notice you can give, the better. That way, the other person can re-arrange his or her schedule and do some productive tasks to fill in the time before your meeting. Time is a precious commodity. So respect other people's time, and they'll have more respect for you. After all, how do you feel when you make a 3:00 appointment and someone shows up at 3:45?

When you ask for proposals or materials, make sure to respond
In those instances in which you initiate contact with other companies or individuals to ask that proposals or brochures be sent to you, common courtesy dictates that you acknowledge receiving those materials and let the other party know when it hasn't been selected. Sure, you may feel bad rejecting someone. But it's far worse to leave someone hanging. A "thanks but no thanks" or even a plain "no" is better than silence because it allows the other party to move on to more productive tasks.

Here again, how do you feel when you're asked to send materials about your product, and then you never hear from the prospect again? You feel that the other party, at the very least, owes you a response, whether it be a letter, phone call or e-mail.

The same holds true when you ask people to apply for a position in your organization. Those who are not selected are entitled to hear from you. You expect those who apply to research your company and to submit carefully prepared materials. In some instances, they have taken part in interviews. Show the same courtesy, and let them know that a decision has been made.

Take it easy when you reject or criticize someone
Are we becoming a harsher, more in-your-face society? I think so, and it's not a good thing. I'm all for being honest, but there's a good argument to be made for "cushioning" critical statements.

For instance, if someone at work buys a new outfit and asks you how it looks (and you think it's horrible) what do you say? Would you say, "That's the ugliest outfit I've seen in years?" The courteous response takes into account the other person's feelings. You could say something like "It's certainly different," or "That's really unique."

I'm not asking you to lead people on or confuse them about where you stand. However, most people are quite fragile when it comes to criticism or rejection, and there's no purpose in being so direct or "truthful" that you crush the other person.

Here's another example. Let's say that a college receives an application from someone who clearly doesn't meet the school's standards for admission. Which of these letters do you think should be sent when rejecting the application?

A. "We regret to inform you that we can't offer you a position at this time. We receive applications from many people and can't offer a space to each one. We wish you much success in your future endeavors."

B. "Compared to the other applications we received, yours was a complete joke. What were you thinking about when you applied here? The answer is "NO."

Now, the second letter probably more accurately expresses the college's feelings about the applicant. But in my view, it's downright cruel. As for the first letter, I wouldn't be happy to get that either (and I did receive many like it), but there is a certain politeness to that rejection.

Courtesy is more than just being nice. Courtesy is good business. And besides, courtesy makes the world a little more pleasant. So show every human being the respect he or she deserves. Remember that what you send out is what will come back to you. Let's all work together to make courtesy a little more common.

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